An American Wife for my Brother….
By Mohammed Errihani

"Why don't you send your brother an American wife?" pleaded my mom when I last talked to her on the phone. "What? An American what?" I asked in total disbelief. My mom went on to explain: "You know awlidi, God did not sehhel (make it easy in Moroccan Arabic in order for him to pass his third year at the university. Now he is contemplating suicide (allah yehfed), and you are his only hope.

"Mom," I replied calmly, "what does God have to do with it? Why do we always blame it on God? May be it was my brother's fault." "Beg forgiveness and don't blaspheme, son. This is mektoub." "Well, then if it is mektoub for him to come to America, he will make it when it's time for him," I said. "Stop being too logical and philosophical. I am your mother after all", my mom replied in a melancholy voice. "Well, what do you want me to do, mom? Didn't I send him all kinds of papers from here, but he was refused a visa twice? What else can I do? Do you think I don't want him to come here?" "Well, may be because that's what all his friends are telling him", my mom said in a quick, yet soft voice, as if she did not want me to hear her remark.

I was a bit annoyed by the remark, but I did not let it get to me, and I chose not to say anything is response. This gave my mom the chance to elaborate further: "I know you love your brother and wish him only el-khir, but our neighbor, your brother's best friend, just got married to an American woman that his brother brought him from America." "OK, let me talk to my brother, please mom", I begged. "No, he asked me to talk to you about this because he is shy."

Now, my younger brother is a university drop out. He is an honest, hard-working, God-fearing young man who for the third time has failed his third year at university. I guess it was that damned African literature and its disillusioned teacher that conspired to make him fail the oral exam. Now, his only goal in life is to leave his mother's house and head north or west of Morocco.

My mom says every relative and every neighbor tells her that I should finish el-khir that I started. In other words, I should keep sending the monthly allowance, yet make the extra effort: finding an American woman who would be willing to travel to Morocco to marry my brother so he can get a visa stamp on his passport.

This whole thing of finding a wife for my brother is a mystery to me. If other people have done it before and have succeeded at it, and it appears that they have, then I am a total failure in the eyes of everyone back home. How come the oldest brother who is living and working in America, making millions probably, is not "man" enough to find a woman for his brother? How in the world did such an ineffective wimp manage to go there in the first place?

Well, I guess I will just have to live with it, that is a wimp who does not deserve to be here in the first place. In the meantime, I will keep sending the monthly allowance, keep loving my brother and hoping that someday he will find a way out! As to the American wife, well all I can do is take my hat off in respect and admiration to those who have found wives for their brothers. THEY are the real MEN!

Mohammed Errihani

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