Hakim Belabbes used to go home every year or so to visit his family in Bejjaad, Morocco during the autumn feast of Moussem Sidi M’hamed Echerqui. He left home for graduate study in literature and film, first to France, and then to the U.S. Now he is an independent filmmaker in Chicago. In 1992, he traveled to Morocco to shoot one of his first films. He and his cameraman, Don Smith, stayed at his home in Bejjaad, filming Belabbes’ family as they went about their daily activities, such as preparing meals and cleaning.
“We were mainly shooting footage within my parents’ home just to document the process, and also because they housed us,” said Belabbes. “By the time my friend Aziz—who was supposed to be the subject of the film—had decided he was not going to be part of the shooting due to his mother’s illness, we had already been getting used to rolling cameras at home, and everyone there had started getting used to the idea of us walking around with our cameras and mics.” This is how A Nest in the Heat came to document one of the recurring journeys of Belabbes’ life: going home.
Guided by his honest and gentle narration, we accompany Belabbes through the mixed emotions and confusing thoughts of his ritual homecoming. He feels guilt over having left home, having been the favorite son among 11 children, who was expected to take over his father’s movie theatre business. And yet he knows that it was the right choice for him to leave, which, in a sense, makes him feel even guiltier. Why couldn’t he be satisfied with a home in Morocco? he seems to ask himself.
The very presence of his sister, Rachida, seems to confront him. Reacting shyly to the camera, she explains why she never could leave her parents. At the time of the filming, she was in fact the only child who had stayed with them. She was not married or employed outside the home. Tears come to her eyes as she tries to explain the feeling of happiness and peace that she has in her home with her parents.
“What am I missing by leaving home?” Belabbes asks himself. His parents are older and weaker each time he sees them. But there is something even more disturbing. He is losing his culture. He realizes this suddenly when joining his father to say prayers by his grandparents’ graves. His father and his friends begin reciting the customary prayers from the Qur’an, but Belabbes has forgotten the words. This is how far he has traveled from the culture that had formed and sustained him. It is a disturbing revelation.
These trips home are filled with both joy and anguish. Belabbes eagerly participates in the activities of the fall feast, such as the fantasia performances and family gatherings around traditional Moroccan food. But these visits are also marked by his intense yearning for approval, especially from his father. In some of the most moving scenes of the film, Belabbes seems to be asking his parents to bless the choices he has made in life—even if these choices have hurt them. It is truly remarkable that in these scenes there seems to be no awareness of the camera. His mother prays for his success as she holds and kisses him. His father tries to be generous—though a bit grudgingly. We see his pride not wanting to assuage his son’s guilt too readily.
Belabbes worries about his parents. He thinks of their growing loneliness as his siblings grow older and become more involved with their own families. What if his parents die when he is away? Yet as much as he loves to see them, he also needs to leave. The film ends with a very powerful scene, when Belabbes says good-bye to his father. They are in a public place, people passing by. Belabbes and his father embrace and part, going their separate ways. Then his father turns to look back at Belabbes one last time. Belabbes doesn’t see this, but the camera does.
Belabbes has taken great risks in this very personal film. He has exposed his own vulnerabilities and those of his family, though the camera always treats them with respect and restraint. After a recent screening of the film in Minneapolis, Belabbes talked about the process of making the film, and the feelings of exile and homelessness—or of being between two homes—that he has struggled with since leaving Morocco.
He said he agonized over whether or not he was invading his family’s privacy or in some way exploiting them through this film. But their reactions to it have been comforting. His mother watches the film often. “In her time by herself, she would watch the film--and my sisters’ and brothers’ wedding videos, for that matter—to keep her company. My mother loves having people around. She laughs a lot and I believe being alone takes a toll on her. So maybe watching the videos is a way of feeling a bit less lonely.”
Perhaps this film can also help those far from home feel a little less isolated in their feelings of dislocation. Belabbes has documented a ritual of exile—which is for many only a hope: the necessary return to the source of one’s identity and creativity. In fact, he is now returning to Morocco even more than ever: “I go back home at least four or five times a year. The reason for that is that I shoot all of my work back at home . . . . It’s a heaven for me!” His first feature film, “Threads,” is due out soon. “It is a story told through six woven tales of characters that brush by each other without ever knowing each other,” he says. The film was shot in Bejjaad and Chicago.
Belabbes laments the present state of cinema in Morocco. “The Centre Cinématographique Marocain wants to find Hollywood or European-type movies. They want to know what genre your film will be--romantic comedy? Action-adventure? When will Moroccans stop wanting to imitate Europe and America?”
Certainly the distinctive voices of Morocco should be supported by Moroccan funders and audiences. Then those of us not Moroccan will be graced with stories like A Nest in the Heat, which shows an Arab man living with exile and homecomings, with great love for his family and the culture of his birth. What a welcome difference from the image of the Arab male predominant in our war-ravaged media these days!
As a postscript to the film, Belabbes says that since his first child was born a couple of years ago, he has begun to feel at home in America. And sister Rachida has married a Pakistani and is now living in Florida.
